#8. You Can't Be Pregnant by Yourself

I said yesterday that there is no such thing as "your" pregnancy. I'd like to add a caveat. There is no reason you would want a pregnancy to be "your" pregnancy. A one-woman-show pregnancy isn't even possible.

I'm a do-it-yourself kind of person. I hate accepting help from other people. And I hate asking for help even more. In my early pregnancy, I tried very hard to make it to work on time every day, to keep cooking for my husband, and to keep my vomiting a secret--even from Adam.

But as time wore on and my pregnancy symptoms got worse, I just couldn't do it any more. Many mornings, I had to spend way too much time in the bathroom to make it to work on time. I couldn't eat a bite of anything I smelled as it cooked. And sitting on the bathroom floor crying by myself was just too depressing.

Help arrived. And I didn't even have to ask for it.

Before I knew it, my early morning classes were getting covered. My ninth- and tenth-grade homeroom students even took their own attendance and ran their own prayer session! Food started appearing out of nowhere from friends and co-workers. And Adam talked me into leaving the bathroom door open so he could come running when he heard the tale-tell sounds of sickness.

Now, five months into the pregnancy, I've learned that I really do have to depend on other people. Pregnant women aren't as helpless as some people think we are, but there are some things I just can't do. Adam and I are moving into a new home tomorrow. I can't smell the chemicals required to scour the oven. I can really navigate around the piles of boxes in our living room with my growing belly. And I don't have the stamina to pack for hours on end without many, many breaks.

Just like in the first trimester, help has materialized. My mother came up and helped clean our apartment--several friends have volunteered to finish the job on Sunday. My in-laws came up for a friendly visit and ended up packing a huge number of our belongings. Friends volunteered their time to stuff our dishes and books into boxes.

There are those who question whether it is responsible to bring a child into a world with so much suffering. I suppose they may have a point. But I, for one, am happy to be introducing a new person into the warm, charitable, generous community and family by which Adam and I are lucky to be surrounded.

Without Adam, I wouldn't have made it through the first trimester. Without our friends and family, we wouldn't be moving into a wonderful new house with plenty of room for the baby.

There is no way I could be pregnant by myself.